ZAAI-IAAZ

Dear Ex bestfriend, Ex closest friend or whatever it is,

I just wanna tell you that life is preety hard without you eventhough i am able to move on with my new life. Its just that i miss your laughter, your smile, your nonsense, everything about you. I dont care what the others wanna say about you, cos i know you know what's the best for me. You had done so much for me, just for me. I know how it feels when a friend didn't acknowledged you, but trust me, i dont mean it, I swear. What will i get? Happiness? Popularity? No... I know who are my good friends and who are not, who are my real friends, who are my true friends and who are not. You used to be at the top list, but after you send me those messages i think im just totally wrong. Why cant you trust me more than the others? Who am i? Even if we are no longer close, even if we are no longer best friend, we can always treat each other well. Isin't that what i am doing right now? To be honest i cried, i cried when you text me this.

Me: As my closest friend, i thought you can understand me the best! The best! But again you prove me wrong. Just reflect and think what you did to me during last year countdown? Same like this!

Friend: Sorry, but i'm not your closest friend anymore. Keep reminiscig the past Zai, it won't help you to solve this problem. Yes, I did that to you and why do you still keep coming to me when I keep doing the same thing? Go to your group friends who I cant blend in. K bye.

Let me tell you, what type of person i am. Honestly speaking, I am easy to forgive a person even after the bad things they had done to me, you even know that don't you? But i dont forget things easily, the past. Doesn't matter the bad or the good, the sweet or bitter. All these are part of life, whatever it is life have to move on. I've never erase my past, i'll take every single of it as a lesson for me so that i'll be able to be a better person one day. You know why i still keep coming to you when you keep doing the same thing? It is because i really treasure the friendship that we have been through together for almost 4 years. I've never give up. I always believe that one day we'll be able to understand each other. I know you are scared of losing me as a friend, but you really have to trust me, i had never leave any of my friends. NEVER. I appreciate every each of them.

And frankly speaking, do u know why i walked with the other group of friends? It is because she's there.(My Ex bestfriend) I bet you know who she is right? Please understand me for once, i only went out with her once per year and i have no idea if this year will be the last year we going out with each other. You wouldn't know how hurtful it is when she leave me just because of a small mistakes. Just because i was desfending you. You know how it feels? A person who i really can trust, a person who i am close with, a person who i always rely on suddenly gone missing within a minute. And now, its you? See, life is like a wheel. The past is repeating again and again, it really hurts. I dont ask anything from you, i just need you to recollect your thoughts... Till here, take care, all the best in life.

Love, Zaai.